the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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