i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
