it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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