You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
