her vagine was all disorganized.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
