Where did you get a picture of my penis
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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