Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
