I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
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He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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