My friends, they love my intelligence
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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