I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.