If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.