Porn is love you can see.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in