I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
