Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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