Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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