Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
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But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
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YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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