No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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