He uses pillows to masturbate.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
