was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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