This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
