shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
