Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
