feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize