YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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