Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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