Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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