Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
