Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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