You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The beers last night were like the tears from god
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
