There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
