just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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