So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Did I show you my penis last night?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
