dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Congratulations! We have a period
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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