when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
