Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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