I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
