Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
