I didn't shave. On purpose
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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