I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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