hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
