Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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