so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My vagina just recognized that song.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
