Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
