wrigley field is MILF paradise
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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