I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
