A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize