Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i wish my penis had a tongue
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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