Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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