How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she looked like the before picture.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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