The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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