that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
