We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
