someone get that fucking seahorse.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I had to cum in my sink.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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