I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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