Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
