Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize