i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
