well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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