but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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