how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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