My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We are two peas in an std pod
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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