Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
